


I Just Want You To Know

by Celebrate_the_irony



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Amused by all this Wade, M/M, Sick and Tired Peter, bless them, pure fluff, such an old married couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7000996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celebrate_the_irony/pseuds/Celebrate_the_irony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The constant wheezing! I feel like I’m sitting next to a perverted phone call and I’m at the wrong end!” Peter snapped. And people say romance is dead.</p><p>Or the old married couple bicker at 3 in the morning</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Want You To Know

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest with you I don't know why I wrote this or what purpose this serves. It was just stuck in my head for the past couple of days and I needed to get it out of my system.

“Why must you breathe like that?”

“Like what?” Wade asked panicked through sleep filled eyes. Was he dying? If Wade goes by emphysema he’s not going to be happy. When he fully managed to open his eyes he was confronted by Peter staring through his very soul. Which was not as unsettling to Wade as it probably should be, the being married for ten years puts a damper on being creeped out by your partner’s behaviour.

“The constant wheezing! I feel like I’m sitting next to a perverted phone call and I’m at the wrong end!” Peter snapped. And people say romance is dead.

“Do I? I didn’t notice, must have been too busy sleeping.” Wade shrugged and rolled over so he wasn’t facing Peter and could therefore get a good night’s sleep. Not that it deterred Peter in any way.

“Do you know the last time I got a good night’s sleep? That week you were in Michigan eight years ago. Oh I long for the week that was.” Peter said dramatically as he rolled onto his back to give his arms more mobility to do dramatic hand gestures. “No wheezing, I got all the fucking bed covers for once. I even managed to not get suddenly pushed off the bed. What a wonder of a week.”

“That happened once and you were taking a risk sleeping on the very edge like that, you know I get grabby at night, what were you expecting?” Wade said in his defence very much awake now.

“I don’t know, maybe my husband taking me into his arms and cradling me close. Why don’t you ever do that anymore?” Peter admonished.

“Because at the end of the night I want my arms back. I know they regrow but the way you handle them I worry that these pair of hands will be my last.” Wade knew Peter too well to fall for that one, he also knew that the bruise he had from trying to surprise Peter with a cuddle took a solid twenty minutes to heal itself.

“Would it kill you to be romantic for once?” Peter sighed.

“In this situation, yes probably.” Wade remarked.

“And you know what else?” Peter suddenly changed the direction of the conversation, this slightly worried Wade.

“No, dear, but please do tell.”

“You drool. Sometimes I wake up and it’s like looking at the Creature from the Black Lagoon.” Peter had started and it looked like there was no stopping him anytime soon.

“Well I do have the scales.” Wade said, he just wanted to go back to sleep.

“I have a legitimate fear of drowning when I get into bed with you, I feel like I’m floating on one giant door and I’m waiting for you to freeze to death.” Peter said, Wade snorted at that.

“You’ll be waiting a while.”

“And another thing-” Peter continued this sleep deprived rant.

“You do surprise me.” Wade interrupted dryly.

“You are constantly talking in your sleep, about what I don’t know I never question it. I can’t use a radio alarm anymore I just confuse it for you and continue sleeping.” Peter complained.

“If you’re lucky I’ll kick you off the bed again, that’ll wake you up.” Wade muttered darkly.  

“There’s no need to get so defensive.” Peter said with a smirk knowing full well how much that irritated Wade.

“I’m not!-” Wade started to yell before getting a handle on himself. “I’m not getting defensive.”

“You’re getting a little defensive.”

“Well ok you know what, you’re worse than all of that.” Wade began. Oh here it comes.

“I doubt it,” Peter snorted.

“You cut your toenails in the bed, it’s disgusting and to be perfectly frank with you I would seriously consider divorcing you because of it. I did not marry your toenail clippings that dig into my feet when I get into bed. It’s revolting, you should be ashamed of yourself.” Wade ranted, when he was done he looked over at Peter to see if his savage remarks had sunken in. They hadn’t, Peter was still smirking at him.

“How long were you sitting on that one?” Peter said his cutting reply.

“I’d say about three weeks after we started dating.”

“And you didn’t say anything? That’s not like you to not complain about me.”

“No that’s not like _you._ I love you so much that there’s nothing to complain about.” Wade said self-righteously, he had hoped that made Peter feel a little guilty but the laughter he heard suggested otherwise.

“How can you have a straight face and say that? Literally only this morning you complaining about the way I eat toast.” Peter

“You eat it from the centre out, you make such a mess, why are you like this?” Wade started up, Peter nestled into Wade’s side as he started to complain.

“So I don’t have to eat the crusts.” Peter said as though this was the only sane option

“Cut them off!” Wade said, was he the only sane one in this house? Probably.

“I love you.” Peter mumbled in this sickeningly sweet and genuine way, if Wade wasn’t the one married to him, he would have to excuse himself to vomit.

“Don’t try and weasel your way out of this, you are a disgusting human being and you’ve destroyed the sanctity of bread and this marriage.” Wade wasn’t over being grumpy, in his defence Peter started it, it just sucked for Wade that he didn’t get to finish it.

“I love you a lot actually.” Peter reflected. “That week in Michigan, hated every second, didn’t sleep a wink. I think it’s a bit Stockholm syndrome actually, hate the way you snore, can’t sleep without it.”

“Well then I’ll get started on the snoring so you can sleep.” Wade replied, rather considerate of him, he thought. Of course he thought wrong.

“Okay, just not in my ear, I can hear every revolting bit of phlegm in your throat when you snore like that, it’s nightmare inducing.” Peter said sounding traumatized.

“Love you too, Petey.” Wade kissed the back of Peter’s head before drifting off to sleep. Married life was fucking bizarre.


End file.
